Song

The day the doctor agreed
it wasn’t worth operating
any more on her cancer,
he seemed to have lost
his ubiquitous sense of humor
and sat glum, even
when I made some excuse
after we’d left
and came back alone
to ask him
how much longer she had.

He answered, mumbling,
and I had to repeat the question
in a few different ways
before the answer was clear..

Of course he didn’t really know
because he didn’t want to scare her any more
with painful tests to pinpoint
the villainous source.  So we figured
the parameters together and came out with
“six months max.” 

Then I went back to the car and took out
the cognac I had brought for this very occasion. 
But she didn’t feel like drinking
and I was driving, so we made
the long ride home in a meditative silence
concentrating on the road.

“Look at that sunset!” I heard myself saying
as if to a child and not a woman who would celebrate
her ninety first birthday that week.   And she replied,

“Well, at least we won’t have this
miserable monthly journey
to contend with again.”  But I
would have given anything
to go back and forth with her—
sunrise, sunset – at least another
few dozen times.