I fancy, I've already loved you

I fancy, I've already loved you.
I fancy, I've already killed you.

But you revived embodied in a girl,
as an ingenuous figure on a ball;
your body bent, you try to keep your balance -
as if you were from Picasso's canvass.
You ask me with your heart and soul :
"Do love me!", like " Don't push me off the ball !"

I am that weary acrobatic man,
my muscles make me look a humpbacked one
who knows that all advice is false and leads astray,
and you are sure to fall down anyway.

I want to say : "I love you", but I fear,
it's like announcing : "I'll kill you, dear".
For in the depth of the transparent face
I see no end of faces, full of grace,
of which I've loved and killed a lot,
by torturing, or crushing on the spot.

You're pale from fear, balancing the ball :
"I've been among them, and I know it all.
I know that you've already loved me.
I know that you've already killed me.
But I will not reverse the world. I won't.
Love me again, then kill me if you want".

I tell you, girl, do stop your ball.
I'm tired of killing,. I'm too old.

But you drive on the planet with your feet,
and saying : "Love me do", you fall off it.
And deep inside the eyes, - so much like yours, -
I read : "You will not kill me, I suppose !"

1967