Shades Of Achilles

I have disremembered
the pact I made
with the gently mad children
perhaps the appointed hour
has already come
and I do not know
what sign or shape
to paint upon my brow, only
that it should be blue.

Is it because
I have banished to my past
the innocence of my youth
that I have finally joined
the adult conspiracy?
If so, I can only offer
as my excuse, painful memories
of police cells
and the long line of beds
in the dormitory
at the local asylum

perhaps the years
of lighting golden suns
inside my head
has robbed me of that
capacity to distinguish
between that which is token
and that which is necessary.
I beg Thetis
take her hand from my eyes.