I thought

I thought i needed to make it right
and when I did
nice things happened
and today
those nice things cause me
to feel things
cause me to hurt myself
I was better off
lying to myself?
no, I'm better off now
with my tears
i'm better off knowing who I am
i'm better off knowing where I've been
knowing where I stand
knowing I can have anything and anyone I want
without restriction
yet it will take an armored tank division
to remind me of this in the morning